Hope

So lately I have been 'Little Miss Debbie Downer'...and people have begun to notice the way my eyes arent as Sparkly and how my overall demeanor is somewhat unpleasant. Well for all of you that have noticed, I am sorry. I find that i have been a little hope-less for the past couple of weeks and maybe even months. This very subtle change has been brought on by a couple of things...possibly boys, definitely money, not necessarily school...I was talking with Colin about it and he said that I need to find a new goal to fulfill, a new purpose...something new to do with my time. After spending a couple of weeks roaming aimlessly around my apartment I have decided to take up his advice. It is possible that I am supposed to learn some all important lesson from this experience, so I am going to try and figure out what that is.

So now I am looking for that thing that will give me a little more meaning to my very meaningful life. I think I am going to start by completing a very serious study of the Book of Mormon. Last time I did that I found that my days were more fulfilling and I slept better at night. I was also able to find a job that I found enjoyable...maybe working is not my first priority at this time...I need to really discover who I am...and this is a great chance for me to do just that!

Another reason for my state of 'blue' (silly but true) is that over 5 of my very close friends have gotten engaged in the past month or so. I am ecstatic for each and every one of them, and I wish them every happiness in the world!! I love seeing my friends happy and I know for many of them their dreams are truly come true...

I have to admit that it is hard for a woman, like me, to see others getting married. Only because it is something that is so expected of women my age...which is very ridiculous because I am only 20 years old...I have so much that I could accomplish with my life before settling down with 'mr.right' and having a plethora of bouncing babies that fulfill that longing in my heart. Provo Utah does put alot of pressure on girls and guys alike to get hitched and start repopulating the earth.

I have been feeling recently that I am unloveable, unattractive, and just plain unwanted. YES...that is right. 'Silly Maria, how could you think that? You are a great girl!' I know thats what you are all thinking...well thanks alot, but after spending 20 years alone I feel ready to make that leap into the unknown, uncharted world of love. maybe someday.

After shooting a text to my wise older brother Brandon, he sent back this..."Things will work out! Heavenly Father just is setting you up with the best options. As soon as the time is right you'll know. Read Preach My Gospel...Chapter 6...Hope...

Here is what that says...

Hope

"Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to you. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. It is believing and expecting that something will occur. When you have Hope, You work through trials and difficulties with the confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good. Hope helps you conquer discouragement. The scriptures often describe Hope in Jesus Christ as the assurance that you will inherit eternal life in the celestial kingdom. President James E. Faust taught: 'Hope is the anchor of our souls...Hope is trust in GOd's promises, faith that if we act now, the desired blessings will be fulfilled in the future...The unfailing source of our hope is that we are sons and daughters of GOd and that His SOn, the Lord Jesus Christ, saved us from death."

"Being blessed with hope, let us, as disciples, reach out to all who, for whatever reason, have moved away from the hope of the Gospel. Let us reach to lift hands which hang hopelessly down." -Elder Neal A. Maxwell

SO what i gleaned form this excellent source of knowledge and power is that if I have Hope in Christ all things are possible and ALL things will work out! I have always known that, but it is always good to be reminded. REminded that no matter what happens we have a HEavenly Father who loves us and cares for each and every one of us! I am very grateful for this knowledge in my life!!

Now that I have done a little venting I am going to jump on the ball and get to work!! I am going to find that new meaning to my life and I am going to fulfill it and become engulfed in it! Ill keep you posted!

christmas cheer...

so i want a christmas tree...christmas lights...mistletoe...constant christmas carols...festive-ly decorated sugar cookies...my apartment is void of such festivities...which super sucks because i am spending the holiday here in provo...gah...alone at christmas...i can think of no better way to spend the holidays...sorry about the down-in-the-dumps attitude...provo is makin me blue...

Simon Peter

Simon Peter

President Kimball relays so beautifully in his talk Peter, My Brother The important role that Peter played in the early church. Not only was he the first apostle chosen, but he was also the prophet and leader of the church after Christ had been crucified. Many people think of Peter as a traitor of Christ, because his faith waivered when Jesus was being trialed, but if we had been in the same situation what would our reactions have been. President Kimball states so perfectly, “Peter was a man of faith. He healed the sick by their merely passing through his shadow. Prison walls could not hold him. Because of him, the dead came back to life. He walked upon the water. Though this was not a total triumph, has any other human succeeded? Let any who would scoff at Peter’s momentary wavering try such a feat himself.” President Kimball is correct, we are not ones to judge the life of Peter. He who went through so many things to follow the Savior without question, to be the leader of the church, to be scorned and ridiculed. “He was full of faith, from the day he left his nets to follow Jesus, he never turned back to them again.” There are so many things, some mentioned before, that he did during his life and even after. He taught the Prophet Joseph Smith, and helped to bring to pass the restoration of the gospel during these the fullness of times. We owe much to the memory and to the man Peter!

If I could do something to be more like Him I would definitely exercise my faith and share my testimony with all those around me. Peter had such great faith to do all things, and such a brave heart to testify of Christ. I feel that it is up to us, as his brother and sisters in the gospel, to follow his amazing example and share our testimonies with all those around us. Doing so will help to build the kingdom of God here upon the earth and there is no greater joy than that.

Just as President Kimball said, I am proud to call Simon Peter my brother. He has done so much for us in these latter days that we would surely be ungrateful if we didn’t recognize his hands in the bringing to pass of the gospel!

The Holy Ghost

THE HOLY GHOST

- The Savior taught here that the Holy Ghost is the Comforter and to receive the Holy Ghost the apostles of the Savior must love one another.

- Not only is the Holy Ghost a Comforter, He is also a teacher. He comes through peace and pondering upon things we have been taught.

-The Holy Ghost is also a testifier of Jesus Christ, when we share our testimonies with others He also testifies unto them.

-The Holy Ghost also works as a repellant of sin, judgment, and righteousness.

-The Holy Ghost is the spirit of truth, He glorifies the Father and the Son, and shows us the truthfulness of their church.

-The Holy Ghost essentially is the witness of the Father and the Son to those who earnestly seek to know them. He expounds our understanding, deepens our love of God and enhances the natural man and makes him more like the God he is meant to become. The holy Ghost brings man to his fullest potential.

The Holy Ghost help the apostles fulfill their missions after the Saviors Death and resurrection by testifying and touching the hearts of men on the earth at that time. He enhanced the apostles faith and power while teaching and preaching unto others.

The Holy Ghost has been my constant companion since I turned 8 and was baptized. The gift of the Holy Ghost has certainly been helpful and instructive to me the past 12 years of my life and I know that He will continue to be through my faith and worthiness until the end. There have been many times in my life when I was instructed and taught be the Holy Ghost. Or when I was led in a specific direction in life due to His subtle yet moving nudges. My faith has surely been strengthened by the Holy Ghost, each time I bear my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and of the life of the Savior I feel His loving arms around me, and I feel the Spirit witness to me once again the truthfulness of all that I know.