Ok sooooo growing up i always thought that by the time i turned 18 i would get married to a tall dark and handsome man, who i would meet right after my high school graduation. He would whisk me away on his white horse and we would ride off into the sunset, then magically a year later we would have a bouncing baby boy with curly brown hair and electric blue eyes, and i would be suffering but so happy from my little family that i could burst with pure joy. Thats what i pictured when i thought about my future. Little did i know that in all reality i would grow to become 20 years old without even a boyfriend to keep me warm on cold winter nights. its not like i have never had a relation ship, i totally have, but that relationship didnt last longer that 1 week and that happened over 3 years ago. i know how pathetic right. thats what you must be thinking but as i sit here and think about it i dont find it pathetic at all. sure i dont have much experience in the form of "boy knowledge" but i am happily ignorant of what im missing out on. and to tell you and the rest of the world the truth i would rather live in ignorance than in remorse knowing that i spent time with someone who i knew was wrong for me. so thats my little rant on that.
When i think about my life i realize that to the rest of the world i am a very young very naive 20 year old who has her whole life ahead of her to explore and to travel and to meet people and maybe by the age of 30 to get married and start a family. But here in provo i might as well be a grandmother...the fact that i dont have a boyfriend and that i have no future prospects for marriage makes me out to be a single, sorry little excuse of a mormon girl. well thanks a lot provo for making this birthday make me feel like crap. hence the picture above...my overall fear of turning 20 and being single...retarded i know but its the way this place makes me feel.
maria, naturally i'm so excited to stalk your blog.
ReplyDeleteif it makes you feel better, i've been twenty for exactly a month now... &have been single for twenty years and one month... which adds up to 241 months. i think... we all know i'm no genius.
but i'm super excited for your birth!! &i seriously seriously think you're going to get engaged this year!!
you will always be my bfff. &when i get married when i'm 82, you're going to be my bridesmaid. k sweet.
you are hotter than jalepeno chips!
First of all, if you're TWENTY without a boyfriend that is NOT bad. You are so young! You have so many other things to do in your life. If you just wait around for a boyfriend, you're gonna be stuck.
ReplyDeleteSTOP BEING IN A RUSH TO GET MARRIED.
But I love you. AND YAY! You're blogging again!